Self-esteem and low confidence

 

Having low self-esteem and a lack of confidence can have significant consequences. It can negatively impact relationships, success at work, social lives, and many other areas. People’s view of themselves can be highly distorted and unbalanced, where they see only their deficits and none of their positive qualities.

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Symptoms of Low Self-Esteem and Low Confidence

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• Self-Criticism: People with low self-esteem might be highly self-critical, using lots of negative self-talk against themselves, constantly believing they are inferior to others.

• Blame: They may blame themselves whenever things go wrong.

• Passive Behaviour: Low confidence may lead to passive or submissive behaviour, sometimes with a hidden build-up of frustration.

• Avoidance: People may find themselves unable to take up anything that might feel challenging.

• Situational Confidence: Some people might feel confident in some areas, such as at work, but completely at sea in others, such as social situations or in their family relationships.

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Causes of Low Self-Esteem and Low Confidence

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1. Childhood Experiences: Difficult childhood experiences, such as highly critical parents, excessive pressures to succeed at school, or rejection and bullying by peers, can contribute to low self-esteem.

2. Constitutional Anxiety: High levels of constitutional anxiety, which may run in the family, can also play a role.

3. Trauma and Abuse: Experiences of trauma, abuse, or significant losses can lead to low self-esteem and confidence.

4. Mental Health Issues: Low self-esteem is often linked to other problems, such as depression and anxiety, or addiction or self-harm etc.

5. Social Comparisons: Continual comparison to others, especially in an age of social media, can lead to feelings of inadequacy and low self-worth.

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How Psychotherapy Can Help

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Psychotherapy can be invaluable in addressing self-esteem and low confidence issues. Here’s how different therapeutic approaches can help:

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• Psychodynamic Therapy: This approach can help get to the bottom of self-esteem issues by exploring past experiences and internal processes we may not even be consciously aware of. It aims to uncover hidden self-defeating behaviours and understand their origins.

• Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT): CBT focuses on identifying and challenging automatic negative thoughts and core beliefs. It seeks to point to more realistic and helpful ways of thinking about oneself. CBT might include specific exercises or ‘homework’ to try out new behaviours.

• Building a Positive Therapeutic Relationship: For self-esteem and low confidence issues, the therapeutic relationship itself can be particularly important. Building a positive relationship with the therapist can be a route to solving the problem.

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Keywords:

 

Self-esteem, low confidence, self-criticism, negative self-talk, passive behaviour, childhood experiences, constitutional anxiety, trauma, abuse, mental health issues, social comparisons, psychodynamic therapy, Cognitive Behavioural Therapy, CBT, therapeutic relationship.
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These TEDx talks might be of interest:

The skill of self confidence

Six behaviours to increase your confidence

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Further info on tackling self-esteem and low confidence issues can be found here:

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Mayo Clinic

NHS

Mind

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